Not Done Yet

All but Death, can be Adjusted --
Dynasties repaired --
Systems -- settled in their Sockets --
Citadels -- dissolved --

Wastes of Lives -- resown with Colors
By Succeeding Springs --
Death -- unto itself -- Exception --
Is exempt from Change -- -
- Emily Dickinson
+++++

It was one of those "where were you?" moments.
Michael Jackson's passing away is a big deal. He was like Colgate, Milo and Nokia.
A part of our lives that we thought would always be there.
When news of his death rocked the world, we were left shocked.
Even me. I'm not like, a bigcrazydiehard fan but a few of his songs are my personal favorites and the moonwalk never cease to amaze me.
This is how it feels when a legend died...empty.

A day after, my mum told me that a former schoolmate of mine died in a tragic car accident. He was only 21. My sister used to have a crush on him up for 3 years (dari darjah 4 smpai darjah 6~kids). I was best friends with his big brother. After primary school, I've never seen them again. Went to different high schools and soon they became remnants of my childhood memory. So when I saw his picture on the Sunday paper, I was struck by just how unfair and sudden death can be at times.
He was too young to die, but he was taken anyway.

Being young, apparently is not an excuse. Death doesn't judge the years of one's existence, it takes you away regardless of how Life insists that you have so much ahead of you.

God, I have so much ahead of me..
I want to graduate, take my family to Bali for vacation, watch Man Utd home games at Old Trafford, get my Masters&PhD, buy my own car/house/LV bags, get a German Shepherd, travel to Europe, wear a bikini at a beach somewhere in the States, maybe California and get a nice tan, go to concerts/Broadway..etc..etc..it goes on and on.
Oh heck, I haven't even fallen in love properly yet.

Suddenly the future feels unsure, slipping dangerously from my grasp.
How could one be so sure that they will still be here tomorrow?

Angst aside, the death of this friend is a reality sucker punch that really drives the point home.. that i just feel..so thankful to be alive. So goddamn thankful....
to just to be here, being Jess(though being me is not so awesome sometimes) and breathing..
God, I am not done yet.

*Rest in Peace*
Mitchell Evan A.(1988-2009)
Michael Joseph Jackson (1958-2009)

The FedEx Tribute

"I can go on with the rest of my career in peace knowing I don't have to worry about never winning Roland Garros" - Roger Federer

I've seen him crying on two occasions.
One, the heartbreaking tears at the Australian Open final.(blogged about it here)
Two, the relieved tears after winning his first French Open trophy(the pic above), thus completing a career slam.
On that Sunday night, as I watch the Greatest.Of.All.Time lifting up the Coupe des Mousquetaires , I knew that I have witnessed a moment of historic greatness. A privilege of a lifetime:)
14 Grand Slams and counting....
Congratulations Roger Federer!
Enjoy your throne in the pantheon of greats.

June's A Pronk

"Life is full of choices, if you have the guts to go for it. That's why I get immediately bored with anyone's complaining about how boring their life is, or how bad is their town. Fucking leave and go somewhere else. Or don't."

- Oh Henry Rollins, not everyone is a rock star. I see your point but I'd rather vent.

When June descends, I know exactly what's going to hit me.

Boredom. Idleness. House chores.

July is not that far off. The craze,buzz and fuss of hectic life is looming ahead.

So there's ample time to ponder and wonder, to plan and contemplate previous and predicted failures.

Equilibrium. It's sucking me in.

It is during this period, this state of idleness that seduces the mind to think TOO far ahead,
daring one to toy with dark thoughts...stuff that miseries are made of.
I'm not the brooding type.
So it pisses me off when I'm forced to be one.

****
On the bright side, May was amazing.
Comrades reunited. Friendship renewed. Plenty of love, fun and laughter to be cherished.
(Every reunion is a type of heaven:D)

(1) Nina's Engagement Day


(2) High School BFF reunion:)




Oh, and this....


Another lifelong dream about to be fulfilled.
Hopefully bad luck doesn't "if-you-seek-amy" with other untimely obligations.
Now, off to deflower my FRIENDS dvd set.
Till next time peeps!

Kiss Diss

"What are all these kissings worth,
If thou kiss not me?"
~Percy Bysshe Shelley, Love's Philosophy

Yahoo's OMG featured a poll starring Robert Pattinson, and you gotta be surprised at the result. Apparently, at least 63% (and counting ?) of the world population doesn't want to pay a dime to kiss Rob because....

they don't find him attractive? hahahaha.
How on earth did this happen when someone out there paid $28000 for his kiss? (or rather "a peck on the cheek") ?
Personally, I would rather kiss Edward Cullen.

Credits to Fanpop

Yes, they are two different persona. Edward is a hot brooding vampire who will love you..intensely and passionately..for as long as he lives
(Stephanie Meyer will make sure of that :P)
while Rob (who is equally hot and British) is going to break to your tender heart because he's a Hollywood star. A happy ending doesn't thrive in Hollywood.

Of course at the end of the day, you gonna have to SNAP OUT OF IT because your real life prince charming may not be a vampire or british etcetera, but he's here and he loves you.

*A girl can dream though*

The Naked Truth: 1 - Smiling Woes

"If you don't have a smile, I'll give you one of mine"

Don't you just love her smile? A perfect set of teeth, even and gleamingly white. What I would give for THAT set of teeth! ~sigh~

I have always been aware that my teeth are a bunch of uneven embarrassment. But that never stopped me from smiling of course. That would be stupid. However, these past few days I have been thinking a lot about them teeth. I don't normally do this - looking into the mirror and being overly critical of what I see. Especially not my teeth, but for obvious reasons, I can no longer ignore them.

It all started when this artist dude insisted on taking my pictures. This took place at the backstage of the recent UN event.

Me: "byk lagi tu unduk ngadau sana, ko pi la ambil gambar dorang"
Dude: "suda sa ambil gambar dorang suma. alaa, buli la bah. kijap ja ni"
Me: "bah ok la" (sporting sajala kan..hihihi)

So he practically shoved his digital camera in front of my face, mau ambil up-close la konon. 1,2,3 snaps and we are done. Then he requested something that really made me laugh.

"emm, buli sa gambar ko lagi? tapi...cuba jangan kasi kluar gigi ko"
~points at my pic in his camera~
"tidak rata bah gigi ko"

Now how would you react to that? I laughed. Because it's true and he's the first stranger to point that out. Because of that mind-blowing honesty, I agreed to another snap - this time, without the teeth. haha.

This is why I hate close-ups. I don't have THE TEETH for it.

After that, I can't help but look at my teeth and wonder what could be done with it. There is a way to fix them of course. There's a tool called Porcelain Veneers that could "radically redesign your smile". With dental veneers, we can fix any number of naturally occurring problems from discoloration, uneven or worn-out teeth, to a "gummy" smile." says the front page of Aesthetika Dental Center.

If it could be fixed, why not? It will not change who I am, the word 'improvement' is more like it. More importantly, I'm not doing it because of what others said (ok,maybe a little :P). It's more like a personal satisfaction. Besides, pouting and crooked smiles for pictures are getting old. I have too much of those.

The truth is plain & simple :I'm sick of NOT being able to take close-ups because of my teeth.
And I do love taking pictures.
I should really get a smile makeover in the near future:)
But if you think this gonna stop from smiling-with-teeth, it won't.
They are not perfect but I'm fond of them.
Besides, what are 'angles' for? :p

(n_^) v

I'm Just Not That Into You

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up:

if a boy punches you he likes you,
never try to trim your own bangs,
and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending.
Every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it:
..the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule.
but sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs.
how to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't,
the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave.
and
maybe..
a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future.
maybe the happy ending is just moving on.
or maybe the happy ending is this..
knowing after all the unreturned phone calls and broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment...
you never gave up hope"

**********
Perez Hilton got his hands on the New Moon poster that was supposedly leaked online. I love it, i think it suits the essence of New Moon:)

Edward's "I-love-you-but-I-have-to-leave-you" expression is a perfect 10.
Jacob's scowl pretty much warns Edward to "stay away, Bella is happy and safe with me!"
Bella looks torn.
Since Jacob will get more screen time with Bella,
the reunion between Bella and Edward better be good.

*****
I just have to share these:
Credits to the amazing people at Fanpop!


***********
Oh well, thank God for on-screen fairytales.
It makes reality pales in comparison
and generally makes the world a happier place..
if only for a while.

The Hotness of May

Chuck: "I love you too"

Blair: "Like, can you say it twice?"

Chuck: ~laughs~

Blair: "No I'm serious, say it twice"

Chuck:"I love you, I love you, that's three, four,I love you.."

Wow, it's been ages since my last entry! So much has been going on lately that I can't afford to spare a few minutes to post a quick entry, not that the happenings are very 'happening' anyway. Practicum will start in July, I can't say I'm excited. Not yet. I'll reserve the fear, anxiety, excitement and giddiness for July:)

Last Sunday, I had the opportunity to be part of the UN Inanam 09 competition. Not as a contestant, tapi jadi tukang touch-up my sis. I had no idea how we ended up there, but one thing led to another, and Dee (my sis), who was never really into UN was suddenly thrust into the district level stage. We didn't know what we were in for until it's too late.haha

The thing about joining UN is one has to be prepared mentally and physically. Penat bah tu rushing sana sini, jadi pengiring ja pun suda penat:) Dee kept complaining "sa tia pandai jalan owh, camanala ni?". It's true, her catwalk was disastrous tapi asal suda try, oklah ba kan. We enjoyed the whole thing despite the stress and a few "bikin panas" moments. I didn't even get to take pics of myself, the bane of being the photographer! ~sigh dramatically~

*DeeDee

On a different note, some of my favorite series has reached their season finale.

CHUCK : I absolutely love the fact that he and Sarah are finally together for REAL and Chuck knows kungfu! haha.. Can't wait for Season 3!

PRISON BREAK: I hated the ending. Some of you may like it, but the fact that Michael left a son doesn't compensate for his death. A true happy ending would have to include him, Sara and their little boy living happily ever after. Damn the writers!

HOUSE: Phewww, I didn't see that coming. House checked into a psychiatric hospital while Chase and Cameron tie the knot. I wonder what's gonna happen to House...bring on Season 6 already!

HEROES: Sylar is the new Nathan. Other than that, i can't seem to remember what transpired in the episode. I wonder why...

GOSSIP GIRL: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I actually screamed when Chuck said the three magic words to Blair...like five frickin' times!!!! Now that's what I call a rocking finale!

*Team Chair/Bluck

Another plus, Manchester United are CHAMPIONS again.
A suhweeeeeeet win!

A great week:)
Till next time,
XOXO