Want.

Hope deceives more men than cunning does.

~Vauvenargues

 

I want something I probably will not get.

Not because I don't deserve it.

Because for some reason,

When I want something so bad (this bad),

Circumstances always find a way to mess it up.

I've got no lucky stars to save me,

A lost cause.

I'm tired of being disappointed

All the mocking whys and hows

I'm tired of healing

The gaping hole always takes forever to mend.

Hope is a dirty word.

Even faith is a nasty accomplice.

Do you think,

If I try not to want it so much

Heaven or whatever will let me have it?

Because if it doesn't,

I think I die a little each time....