Thursday, December 31, 2009

Suan Tian

pretty.dirty.mess is one year old today.
Happy birthday dear blog! :D
Oh well, this is my last post for 2009. It has been one hell of a year.
Bitter sweet. Jump and fall. Chocolate-Peria (huh?) haha.
I've got no complaints, really.
Only good memories to cancel out the crappy insignificant ones.
What's your NY resolution Jess?
Unlike last year, I've only got one for 2010..that is to


The Slogan ?

A bit of Enthusiasm and Determination won't hurt right?
Happy 2010 people!
Here's to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.


Thursday, December 24, 2009

The Wait Is Over

Have a Merry (almost) Christmas! ^_____^ v


1. Family Gathering at Tambunan. (There are 33 people in Grandma's house this year. Everyone's home for Christmas!)
2. Gift Exchange (Always the highlight of Christmas morning!)
3. Barbecue (eat!eat!eat!eat!)
4. Party All Night Long (nobody sleeps before at least 1am, even the kids)
5. click! snap* click! pictures (of cute poses, candid moments and wasted people he he he)
6. Christmas Mass :)
7. Movie date with little cousins. (this year, it will be a Thai horror movie, but they didn't know! ~evil laugh~)
8. Sing along to Jingle Bell Rock (my favorite Christmas tune!)
9. Because it's almost impossible to be sad on Christmas
10. Everything (everyone) is red, green, happy, laughing and glowing.

Lord, in this holy season of prayer and song and laughter, we praise you for the great wonders you have sent us: for shining star and angel's song, for infant's cry in lowly manger. We praise you for the Word made flesh in a little Child. We behold his glory, and are bathed in its radiance.

Be with us as we sing the ironies of Christmas, the incomprehensible comprehended, the poetry made hard fact, the helpless Babe who cracks the world asunder. We kneel before you shepherds, innkeepers, wisemen. Help us to rise bigger than we are. 


Monday, December 21, 2009

Walking On Sunshine

what's yours? :D
=What could possibly go wrong today? Let me count the ways=
  1. Rain ruined your laundry : "crap!"
  2. Dog ate your breakfast :"demmit!"
  3. Condescending pricks : "eff you!"
  4. Where-is-the-damn-thing-i-thought-i-put-it-here-yesterday-did-somebody-mess-with-my-stuff?? : "scheeeet!"
  5. Black outs @ power cuts in the middle of the day : "WTF?WTF!
  6. Why is she NOT dead yet? : "omg, I'm going to poke my eyes out if she is not dunzo by the next episode"
  7. Neighbor's radio is waaay too loud at 7 in the morning : "grrrrr!"

Even in December, things can get..overwhelming in little ways that gets your panties in a twist.
Rise to the occasion, grumpy people
and just..

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Cogito, Ergo Sum

This is not a self-absorbed entry. Rest assured that this blog is gag-reflex friendly. 
Read without care.

Random Fact #1
With the obscene amount of time spent in virtual/academic world, house chores accomplishments are strangely fulfilling.

Random Fact # 2
Why oh why didn't I think of doing this instead of leaving the question unanswered?
Math used to be a nightmare :)

Random Fact # 3
If such notice exists, I'd say it's invisible.

Random Fact # 4
When facing the assault of camera flashes,
I'd do b!ch face before showing them pearly whites.

Random Fact #5
I think 500 Days of Summer is beautiful in a heartbreaking kind of way.
You have your way. I have my way.
As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way,
it does not exist.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Futue Te Cockroaches!

I fucking hate cockroaches!
They just pop out of nowhere!!
Last night, I was happily watching Supernatural  on my laptop and suddenly two cockroaches emerge from behind the screen, onto the keyboard and threw me off my chair.
I don't know how it happened but I was so shocked that I fell off my chair and landed ass first on the floor.
Hurts like hell.
Repelled beyond words.
My dad heard the commotion, saw the cockroaches and thought it was funny.
My dad can be so insensitive sometimes.
I was pissed tahap matahari and it increased tenfold when the said cockroaches were still wandering around my study table. I really want to beat both to death but then I'm gonna have to clean up the gooey smelly mess of the remains.
That's right EUWWWWW!
I waited for about 10 minutes before the cockroaches sauntered down the table and out of the room.
Six reasons why I hate cockroaches:
1. yes, they pop out of nowhere.
2. they are hideous
3. I heard that if they pee on your eyes, you'll turn blind.
4. they fly
5. they bite
6. they don't go away even if you say "shoo!shoo!" or make growling noises. Rats will run away but these punks will charge ahead like nobody's business. They are not afraid of you, instead they swing that tentacles defiantly as if saying "I own you bitch".

I fucking hate cockroaches.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

My Cup Of Tea

There is nothing like Glee on TV.
 It's easily the best new show of 2009 (I'm bias, I know) but what is there not to love about Glee?
To be honest, I wasn't a fan before because the plot summary didn't appeal to me. I remember muttering to myself "Oh great, now we have high school musical on TV" ~roll eyes~
What possessed me to change my mind you ask?
A friend recommended Glee.
So, why not right? If the pilot episode tanked, I could always split.
But it didn't and I never looked back.
Yes, the plot may lack originality. Since it's set in a high school, you could pinpoint the usual suspects. However, it takes nothing away from the show. The singing is flawless, my personal favorite (so far) is It's My Life/Confessions mash-up and the group rendition of Nelly's Ride with Me.
Each episode is a delightful mix of humor, drama, tension,  a bit of angst and positive moral values.
High School Musical has nothing on Glee.
Another plus?
The villain is in the form of Sue Sylvester.
I'll get down on my knees and worship the ground that she walks on because she takes the meaning of wicked bitch to a whole new level.
I've never felt so much need to punch a TV character until her!
There have been plenty of shows that started strong and then fell from the peak of their first few episodes. Glee shows no signs of faltering. And even if it does, the twelve episodes that I have seen will stand among the best of 2009.
Yes, that good.
It's official, I'm in Glee.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Too Nice Of A Disease

 I avoid confrontations like the plague. I play nice most of the time. I'm lucky that people are nice to me most of the time. People who matter of course. Last week, Nice Jess soared to an all time high. You see,  I decided to terminate my Friendster account as some of my friends have canceled theirs. Let's face it, cool 20-somethings don't do Friendster. Elaborate? Irrelevant, because you know why. Bah, back to the story.

This is my FS Cancellation form:

Initially, I ticked the "I switched to another social networking Site" box.
So naturally I have to list the site that I switched to.
And then it hit me. Punya kasian the FS admin kalau dorang baca ni. People snubbing their site for another. I felt even worse reading the benefits of having a FS account listed above the cancellation form. Besa-besa ja ba tu benefits, camana mo kasi kalah Facebok kan? I'm pretty sure it's there to beg people to stay with FS, but once you've had the taste of FB you know you can never go back. (Dramatik kan?)

So, I only ticked the box that says "My friends stopped using Friendster". Hope it softens the blow a bit.
Sounds crazy. Hell even I think I'm crazy!
I am thaaat nice.
It's always between two extremes.
Either bagussssssss betul or jahaaaaatttt gila babz depending on the situation.

Either way, I always get the job done :D

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Say Grace

The best things in life are free. Yes and No. I'm on the fence. I love money. I love the simple pleasures  of life. A combination of both makes the world go round. I'm a realist like that. Anyways, that's not the point of this post. I found this "happy list" while stalking some girl's tumblr. It made me smile :)

The 30 Most Satisfying Simple Pleasures Life Has to Offer

  1. Sleeping In on a Rainy Day – As the rain beats lightly against the window, you nestle your head deeper into your pillow.  The sound is soothing and your bed feels like a sanctuary.  There is no place you would rather be.
  2. Finding Money You Didn’t Know You Had – You reach into your pocket and find a $20 bill from the last time you wore these jeans.  You aren’t rich, but you are richer than you were a second earlier.
  3. Making Brief Eye Contact with Someone of the Opposite Sex – You pass him (her) on the street or in the subway.  He (she) glances up at you momentarily, making direct eye contact in a way that seems to communicate a subtle curiosity.  For a split second it makes you think… and then it’s gone.
  4. Skinny Dipping – There is something mysteriously liberating about being naked in a body of water.  You are naked, but it feels natural, a sense of unrefined freedom.
  5. Receiving a Real Letter or Package via Snail Mail – E-mail has become the primary source of written communication.  Most snail mail these days is junk mail.  When you check the mail and find a real letter or package from someone you know, excitement overtakes you as you tear into this rare gift.
  6. Making the Yellow Light - It’s one of the most common simple pleasures, the act of beating the pack.  As you blaze through the yellow light you glance in your rearview to see all the cars behind you stopping at the red light.  Yes!  You made it!
  7. Telling a Funny or Interesting, True Story - One of the most enticing roles you lead in life is that of the storyteller.  You love to share stories, especially those that will captivate your audience with deep curiosity and humor.  There are few things more satisfying than telling a true story that others enjoy listening to.
  8. Seeing a Friend Stumble Over Himself – As you walk across the street with your friend, he fails to accurately address the curb on the other side.  He trips and stumbles around momentarily before regaining his footing, then swiftly attempts to play it off like nothing happened.  This can be a hilarious sight if the moment is right.
  9. Hearing the Right Song at the Right Moment - It doesn’t matter what the setting is, hearing the right song for that moment is one of those simple pleasures in life that instantly lifts your spirits. You could be driving home from work, hanging out at a bar with friends, or jogging. When the right song rattles your ear drums the entire meaning of life seems crystal clear.
  10. The First Sip of a Beverage When You’re Thirsty – You just finished mowing the lawn or taking a long jog.  The only thing on your mind is an ice-cold glass of water.  When you are really, really thirsty, that first sip of any liquid beverage is sheer bliss.
  11. Catching a Glimpse of Bare Skin on the Opposite Sex – For guys, it’s when the waitress bends over a little too far.  For girls it’s seeing that buff guy in a Speedo.  Either way, when you see a bit more skin than you were expecting on the opposite sex, you can’t help but to smirk on the inside.
  12. Saying the Same Thing Simultaneously – There is a moment of silence.  Then all of the sudden you and your friend blurt out the same exact set of words simultaneously.  This rare occurrence is something to smile about.
  13. The Pull-Through Parking Spot – You pull into a parking spot and are delighted to see the availability of the parking spot immediately in front of you.  You pull through to the spot in front so that when you return to the car you can drive forward out of the parking spot.  Why?  Because driving backwards is a pain in the butt.
  14. Realizing You Have More Time to Sleep – Something abruptly awakens you and you think it’s time to get up.  Then you squint over at your alarm clock and realize you still have 2 more hours to sleep.  A warm euphoric feeling shoots though your body as you glide gracefully back to your dreams.
  15. People Watching – Sitting there on your bench you can see people in every direction.  Tall people, small people, thin and plump.  Blond, brunette, and redhead alike.  Each of them has a different stride and a unique expression.  As you drift from body to body you are mesmerized by what you see.
  16. Putting On Clothes Straight from the Dryer – As soon as the dryer buzzes, you pull out your clothes and put them on.  They feel soothingly warm on your skin and emit a fresh-scented aroma into the air.  A sentiment of ease comes over you as you head out to conquer the day.
  17. A Familiar Smell – You just pulled into your parent’s driveway and opened the car door.  You haven’t been home in a long while.  You smell familiarity in the air, the scent of a large pine tree in the neighbor’s yard.  As you head through the front door, more familiar smells consume your senses.  Gosh, it feels good to be home…
  18. The Feeling You Get When Your Idea Works – You have been struggling to resolve a complex problem all day and you just can’t seem to get it right.  Filled with frustration, you decide to exercise one last idea before calling it a night.  You’ve had many ideas before that failed miserably… but this time it works.
  19. Fresh, Clean Bed Sheets – You yank at the corner of the bedspread to create just enough space to slide your body under the freshly cleaned sheets.  The sheets feel cool to the touch.  Everything seems so clean, like nobody has ever slept in this bed before.
  20. A Beautiful View – As the car veers around the side of the mountain you gaze out the passenger window.  It’s a clear, sunny day and you can see the entire valley below filled with wild flowers and bright green vegetation.  The scenery reminds you of something you once saw in National Geographic.  But here it is live, right before your eyes.
  21. Reminiscing About Old Times with Your Closest Friends – Pink Floyd once said “the memories of a man in his old age are the deeds of a man in his prime”.  There is no simple pleasure more satisfying than recounting the greatest moments of your life with your closest friends who lived these moments alongside you.
  22. Receiving an Unexpected Compliment – It’s been an average day.  Nothing really great has happened, but nothing terrible occurred either.  This monotonous day has put you in a dreary mood.  Unexpectedly, an older, attractive lady taps you on the shoulder, calls you “handsome” and says she loves your shirt.  The day just got a whole lot better.
  23. Having a Good Laugh – Laughter is the greatest cure of all.  Life is extraordinary in the moments when you are laughing so hard you can barely breathe.  These moments of deep laughter are divine in the sense that they cleanse your mood and set your mind on a positive track.
  24. The Feeling After a Healthy Workout - It’s a giddy feeling of self accomplishment; the one true activity that actually makes you feel better and look better simultaneously. When you walk out the front door of the gym you are on top of the world.
  25. The Celebration in the Instant Something Makes Sense – Even now that it has explained to you for the third time, you just don’t understand how it works.  Everyone else seems to understand but you.  Then out of the blue the dots connect in your mind.  You finally get it, and it feels great!
  26. Relaxing Outdoors on a Sunny Day – As you relax sprawled out in a lawn chair, the sun warms your skin and a light breeze keeps the temperature comfortable.  Birds are chirping merrily in the trees behind you.  You are at complete peace with the environment.
  27. Holding Hands with Someone You Love – Every time she grabs your hand you are overcome with an awareness of how much she means to you.  Holding hands is sensual and physically intimate, yet subtle.  There are few people you allow to hold your hand, so when it happens you can be sure that the moment is special.
  28. Playing in the Water – Water marvels people of all ages.  From jumping in puddles as a child, to doing cannon balls in the pool as an adolescent, to enjoying a cocktail in the Jacuzzi as an adult… water is enjoyable.
  29. Making Someone Smile – You notice that your colleague has been under a great deal of stress with meeting a deadline, so you take it upon yourself to complete one of her indirect responsibilities for her.   As soon as she realizes what you did, she comes into your office with a big smile on her face.  “Thank you”, she says.  You just hit two birds with one stone, because making her smile just made your day. 
  30. Finishing What You Started – You just finished up a big project you’ve been working on for the last few months, or maybe you just finished your first marathon… Either way, you finalized what you set out to accomplish.  The feeling of self accomplishment you get when you finish what you started is by far one of the most rewarding simple pleasures life has to offer.
* I have to disagree with skinny dipping. It's not so much about peeping toms, more like fear of 'water creatures" (euwwwwwwwww!).

God, I take too many things for granted sometimes.
Thank you for the reminder.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Playing Barbie

"Dress shabbily, they notice the dress.
Dress impeccably, they notice the woman."

I'm not much of a fashion buff but when it comes to dressing up(or down), I love attires that exude sexy bad-ass vibe, clothing that acknowledges femininity with masculine undertones. Apparently, floral dresses and combat boots can be best friends after all:) Retro style is also a win for me, along with Kristen Stewart bed hair (not the mullet).

2009 is indeed, the year to let loose and be merry. So, what's you biggest fashion experiment this year?

Pics credit to: Face Hunter and LookBook

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Go Lait Fai-eh

"Be my friend

Hold me, wrap me up

Unfold me

I am small

and needy

Warm me up

And breathe me.."

I love that song

I love<----this picture.

I love Week 2 of November

Come Monday, it's Hideous Week 3:(

Friday, November 6, 2009

Picture Perfect

When I get married, I mean before I actually get married, vows, rings and all, I'm gonna make sure that I have at least one pre-wedding picture like this.

My future husband and I, on a bike. Me wearing a white dress (so that people know it's a wedding picture. Still, Kristen looks great! ). Him..emm, exactly like what Rob is wearing in this picture. A wall-sized version of that picture will be of the walls in our future home.
I haven't met my future husband..yet.
I hope he loves the camera! haha

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Body Conscious

Your dresses should be tight enough to show you're a woman
loose enough to show you're a lady.

Edith Head

I absolutely adore this goddess of a dress. It exudes a sexy-classy elegance without the slutty undertones. Body Con, they call it. Some said you have got to have a toned body = flat stomach to pull it off. So, the basic rule is - the stomach must not protrude significantly, but that's not really a big problem, is it? Three solutions come to mind:

1. choose a dark/brown patterns. These colors are the most forgiving for a bumpy stomach.
2. Do buy a size bigger. Body con dresses are clingy, tight fitting types. So no 'oversize' issues here.
3. Corsets

Should I just ignore the fact that I have no current occasion to wear it to? What if BodyCon becomes a cliche next year? The dress will rot to death in my closet!
Oh well, a girl can never have too many dresses. or shoes.

p/s Jess loves ASOS :)

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Take Five

"It's fine to recline on the flat of one's spine,
With never a thought in one's head:
It's lovely to be staring up at the sky

When others are ear
ning their bread.
It's great to feel one with the soil and the sun,

Drowned deep in the grasses so tall;

Oh it's noble to sweat, pounds and dollars to get,

But - it's grand to do nothing at all"

-"Laziness" by Robert William Service

Why Can't Life Be A Picture Of Contentment At All Times?
Like this?

Saturday, October 31, 2009

A Neat Mess

Do you mind if I invade your personal space? - anon

Girls Night never failed to yield interesting encounters. Like this one:

"Look at me six packs. It's real babe, touch 'em"
~lifts up his shirt~
And so I did. Impressed, yes (ok, I was curious. I've never touched a six/four pack abs before), but what makes the whole thing ridiculous was when he said
"E's muscles are bigger than mine and he wants to go back with you".
I think I LoL-ed in response. Amusing, really.
He must be drunk or that must have worked every time.
He reminds me of that Shania Twain song - it goes something like this -

Okay, so you're Brad Pitt
That don't impress me much
So you got the looks but have you got the touch
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright

My point is - six pack is hot. Others might have tapped that. But uno-nighto-stand is not my thing. I have nothing against people who embrace that. Each of us have different versions of "living life to the fullest".
Mine does not include random hookups.
We dance, we talk, we laugh, we drink, we eat,
I know your name, you know mine, I've seen..err..touched your six pack abs and you loved my rendition of I Will Survive
But we don't leave together.

p/s showing off your abs to get lucky is a terrible pick up line. Just saying.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

A Gem Of A Goodbye

"I am awesome because you are, too"
A tribute post for my Form 4 Perdana

The day before, they stabbed my poor heart with indifference.
The next day, they surprised me with a crazy show of gratitude that only they could pull off. It just so happens that my mentor, Sir Eric was in the class as well. The loonies told him that "kami mau komplen ni pasal teacher sama Sir". I was taken aback. What complaints? Well, I did shout at them, make them do the embarrassing 'pinky promise' a couple of times and bombard them with trying questions and sarcastic comments. But I did those for their sake, always with the best intentions at heart. Maybe I missed something.
After a few frantic "advance explanations" to Eric for whatever complaints that they have, I sat up straight and said "ok, let me have it". The weird part was, nobody wants to go first. One of them breaks the silence, "bah oklah. Since teda org mau mula, kami ada mau kasi tunjuk sama teacher" said Kezia, (the ringleader). They made me close my eyes. In that instance, I knew exactly where it was going. But what they did, took my breath away.

The gifts are not random at all. They gave me a box full of candies "untuk balas balik semua gula2 yg teacher selalu bagi kami" (Ronail). The Cadbury Classic Collection because I DO love chocolates, I might have told them that during one of my ramblings in class. As for the clip in the CD, words fail me. Never thought that appreciation could feel this..heavenly :-

I told them once that it's gonna take a lot to make me cry. In the end, they reduce me to this:

pic belongs to Kezia. (teacher 'pinjam' pic ni k)

They are a bunch of loonies My favorite loonies.
Thank you, 4 Perdana, for being awesome, all of you have made me a better teacher.
You will always be one of my favorite reminder on why I choose to be in the teaching profession. Somebody once said that one can never forget her first students. I couldn't agree more.

Tattooed to memory, a permanent treasure. For Always.
Miss Jessy

Monday, October 5, 2009

a pretty a day

“I can no other answer make, but, thanks, and thanks.”
A post dedicated to my Form 4 Persona

We never had it perfect.
I tried. You shrugged.
But the funny thing is,
Our story did not go according to my liking
You went ahead anyway,
And gave me the best, unconventional ending ever.
Thank You 4 Persona :)

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Hairy Business

"Attired to please herself: no gems of any kind

She wore, nor aught of borrowed gloss in Nature's stead;
And, then her long, loose hair flung round her head
Fell carelessly behind"

Bed hair is Kristen Stewart.
Why can't I roll out of bed and look like that?

Dear Santa,
I want Kristen's bed hair for Christmas.
I need to cut down the routine 2o minutes "hair-time".
Pretty please with a big fat cherry on top.

Love, Jess.


Monday, September 21, 2009

Reel @ Real

Robsten aka Edwarella

Rob and Kris holding hands...not! The wonders of Photoshop manipulation ya'll:)
Can somebody teach me how to do that?
I would love to manipulate my own pictures:P
Pic Credits to Ellashy

Saturday, September 19, 2009

A Peck Of Gold

'Relief' class. Form 4.
Bunch of live wires.
Time's up. Making a move to leave when..


~shy smile
"thank you"

Oh, the small things that can move you.
It's like discovering a peck of gold on a black canvas.
A pleasant surprise.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Jess is artsy after all (Part 2)

I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud by William Wordsworth
I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling leaves in glee;
A poet could not be but gay,
In such a jocund company!
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

p/s gotta get out more. enjoy the view. be one with nature.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Jess is artsy after all.

Let's face it, poetry to me, used to be a collection of gibberish that requires deep thinking to get to the real meaning (s).
I swear I could never get poetry. I remember reading a few in high school.
If, The Road Not Taken, Monsoon History, Si Tenggang Homecoming and Death In The Opposite House.
I understand them. Oh, the wonders of BUKU RUJUKAN.
But I never cared for them. Poetry is like a bad smell that I knew I had to endure.

Poetry, fortunately is not boring. It's intriguing. Alphabets sewn together to make lines of words.
Lines that are traitorous because they never conform to your understanding. At least to me.
That's why poetry and I don't mix. We will never be on the same page.

And then I changed. Five years of doing literature can do that to you. (pun intended:D)
I stopped worrying about whether my understanding of poems matched with other people.
I realized that I am not like other people. I do not feel like them. I do not think like them. I should dance to my own beat. I have been afraid to break away, scared that my own interpretation is gonna sound silly to the ears of artsy fartsy people.

Oh how wrong I have been.
Poetry is many things to different people.
The beauty of it is..
when it evokes some sort feeling in your heart (or stomach),
when it resembles the story of your life narrated in 10 compact sentences
and especially,
when it gets you through the day like a mojo that unlocks one of the many mysteries of life.

I decided that I do get poetry.
I even like some of them.
I am entitled NOT to like some of them.
I may understand them differently than other people.
But that does not make them right and me, wrong.
Because I am me. Other people will never be a second me.

Yes, just like my dear, dear books,
Poetry let me be me.

Here's a recent favorite:
He Wishes For The Cloths Of Heaven by William Butler Yeats
Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

More Than A Beautiful Mess

If a doctor, lawyer, or dentist had 40 people in his office at one time, all of whom had different needs, and some of whom didn't want to be there and were causing trouble, and the doctor, lawyer, or dentist, without assistance, had to treat them all with professional excellence for nine months, then he might have some conception of the classroom teacher's job.
~Donald D. Quinn

Dear Teaching,
Been telling everyone i'm gonna be a teacher someday
yes, yes, since I was 7.
Here I am, finally living the dream
A far cry from my ridiculous ideal.
All these times, it was just silly crush,
And you, being unpredictable and stubborn and rude, are slowly killing me
But I think I can love you.
Heck, I'm halfway there already.
This thing, between you and I,
is only going to get better.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009


"When we are good, we are grand"
~ Chuck and Blair
Looking at these super adorable SEASON 3 pictures,
how can I NOT
for today to be
September 14 already?? ~sigh~

* credits to FanPop and GossipGirl Insider for pics

Friday, August 21, 2009

Romeo And Beauty

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."
~Dr Seuss~

Of all the classes that I have entered for relief, 3 Wira is probably the most adorable. In terms of manners, they are amazing for a bunch of 15yearolds. They always go "Cigu, ada teka teki ka?" or "Cigu, mari bah sini. kita kawan-kawan dulu". Haha. Cute.

Well, something very cute happened today. There's a Romeo in the class who's hopelessly in love with his classmate. Obviously the beauty in the class la. It turns out that Beauty knows Romeo likes her, she just wants him to VERBALIZE the confession aka say it to her face. Translation: she likes him too. No letters or messengers allowed. Smart girl.
But Romeo, having made his intentions clear to everyone in the class except to the one who matters the most, is having confidence issues. Dude looks so pensive and nervous that I felt sorry for him. Before leaving the class, I left him with a piece of advice, "Go on. Tell her. or you'll regret it later". Hope he mans up and just tell her already.

Ah, young love.
Been there, done that.
Hope they will do better:)

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Dear Life,

"If I am destined to lose,
why am I still in this sick game?
Go on,
make the kill.
Or you could be nicer,
and pull me back up"

Wednesday, August 5, 2009


Here is a genuinely funny guy.
He may not be the hottest thing to behold,
but sense of humor ranks higher than looks in my book.
No, I do not kid.
Yes, I would date him in a jiff.
Go watch 'Funny People' ya'll.

Sunday, August 2, 2009


"Fashion is all about eventually becoming naked"

Some of my students are big fans of Lady Gaga. So here's my advice, girls (and boys), you can copy her hairstyle (minus the dye) and her dance moves, but NEVER, i repeat, NEVER, her choice of clothing. I understand the need to be fashion forward, but walking around wearing vahjayjay-flashing, bikini-inspired catsuit? Really?. Halloween is not a daily occasion. Unless you are the Lady herself. I'm all for originality, trademark and uniqueness but this is definitely not hot.

*Taken from PerezHilton

~ dodging tomatoes and pies~

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Getting Up and Over

"what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger"

For as long as I live,
I will never forget the tremble of your lips as you endure the pain,
Your bony hands, your beautiful smile,
Your face as you surrendered to eternal sleep.

I miss you.
I wish I could turn back time and talk to you more when you still could.
but it never crossed my mind that you would leave us.
I want you to know that we are all doing our best to cope,
It just hurts so much because it's all too sudden.

I love you.
I know you'll be happier up there
So, I won't cry anymore..
I'll remember you as the amazing lady that I know you were.


Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Not Done Yet

All but Death, can be Adjusted --
Dynasties repaired --

Systems -- settled in their Sockets --

Citadels -- dissolved --

Wastes of Lives -- resown with Colors

By Succeeding Springs --

Death -- unto itself -- Exception --

Is exempt from Change --
- Emily Dickinson

It was one of those "where were you?" moments.
Michael Jackson's passing away is a big deal. He was like Colgate, Milo and Nokia.
A part of our lives that we thought would always be there.
When news of his death rocked the world, we were left shocked.
Even me. I'm not like, a bigcrazydiehard fan but a few of his songs are my personal favorites and the moonwalk never cease to amaze me.
This is how it feels when a legend died...empty.

A day after, my mum told me that a former schoolmate of mine died in a tragic car accident. He was only 21. My sister used to have a crush on him up for 3 years (dari darjah 4 smpai darjah 6~kids). I was best friends with his big brother. After primary school, I've never seen them again. Went to different high schools and soon they became remnants of my childhood memory. So when I saw his picture on the Sunday paper, I was struck by just how unfair and sudden death can be at times.
He was too young to die, but he was taken anyway.

Being young, apparently is not an excuse. Death doesn't judge the years of one's existence, it takes you away regardless of how Life insists that you have so much ahead of you.

God, I have so much ahead of me..
I want to graduate, take my family to Bali for vacation, watch Man Utd home games at Old Trafford, get my Masters&PhD, buy my own car/house/LV bags, get a German Shepherd, travel to Europe, wear a bikini at a beach somewhere in the States, maybe California and get a nice tan, go to concerts/ goes on and on.
Oh heck, I haven't even fallen in love properly yet.

Suddenly the future feels unsure, slipping dangerously from my grasp.
How could one be so sure that they will still be here tomorrow?

Angst aside, the death of this friend is a reality sucker punch that really drives the point home.. that i just thankful to be alive. So goddamn thankful....
to just to be here, being Jess(though being me is not so awesome sometimes) and breathing..
God, I am not done yet.

*Rest in Peace*
Mitchell Evan A.(1988-2009)
Michael Joseph Jackson (1958-2009)

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The FedEx Tribute

"I can go on with the rest of my career in peace knowing I don't have to worry about never winning Roland Garros" - Roger Federer

I've seen him crying on two occasions.
One, the heartbreaking tears at the Australian Open final.(blogged about it here)
Two, the relieved tears after winning his first French Open trophy(the pic above), thus completing a career slam.
On that Sunday night, as I watch the Greatest.Of.All.Time lifting up the Coupe des Mousquetaires , I knew that I have witnessed a moment of historic greatness. A privilege of a lifetime:)
14 Grand Slams and counting....
Congratulations Roger Federer!
Enjoy your throne in the pantheon of greats.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

June's A Pronk

"Life is full of choices, if you have the guts to go for it. That's why I get immediately bored with anyone's complaining about how boring their life is, or how bad is their town. Fucking leave and go somewhere else. Or don't."
- Oh Henry Rollins, not everyone is a rock star. I see your point but I'd rather vent.

When June descends, I know exactly what's going to hit me.
Boredom. Idleness. House chores.
July is not that far off. The craze,buzz and fuss of hectic life is looming ahead.
So there's ample time to ponder and wonder, to plan and contemplate previous and predicted failures.
Equilibrium. It's sucking me in.
It is during this period, this state of idleness that seduces the mind to think TOO far ahead,
daring one to toy with dark thoughts...stuff that miseries are made of.
I'm not the brooding type.
So it pisses me off when I'm forced to be one.

On the bright side, May was amazing.
Comrades reunited. Friendship renewed. Plenty of love, fun and laughter to be cherished.
(Every reunion is a type of heaven:D)

(1) Nina's Engagement Day

(2) High School BFF reunion:)

Oh, and this....

Another lifelong dream about to be fulfilled.
Hopefully bad luck doesn't "if-you-seek-amy" with other untimely obligations.
Now, off to deflower my FRIENDS dvd set.
Till next time peeps!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Kiss Diss

"What are all these kissings worth,
If thou kiss not me?"
~Percy Bysshe Shelley, Love's Philosophy

Yahoo's OMG featured a poll starring Robert Pattinson, and you gotta be surprised at the result. Apparently, at least 63% (and counting ?) of the world population doesn't want to pay a dime to kiss Rob because....

they don't find him attractive? hahahaha.
How on earth did this happen when someone out there paid $28000 for his kiss? (or rather "a peck on the cheek") ?
Personally, I would rather kiss Edward Cullen.

Credits to Fanpop

Yes, they are two different persona. Edward is a hot brooding vampire who will love you..intensely and passionately..for as long as he lives
(Stephanie Meyer will make sure of that :P)
while Rob (who is equally hot and British) is going to break to your tender heart because he's a Hollywood star. A happy ending doesn't thrive in Hollywood.

Of course at the end of the day, you gonna have to SNAP OUT OF IT because your real life prince charming may not be a vampire or british etcetera, but he's here and he loves you.

*A girl can dream though*

Monday, May 25, 2009

The Naked Truth: 1 - Smiling Woes

"If you don't have a smile, I'll give you one of mine"

Don't you just love her smile? A perfect set of teeth, even and gleamingly white. What I would give for THAT set of teeth! ~sigh~

I have always been aware that my teeth are a bunch of uneven embarrassment. But that never stopped me from smiling of course. That would be stupid. However, these past few days I have been thinking a lot about them teeth. I don't normally do this - looking into the mirror and being overly critical of what I see. Especially not my teeth, but for obvious reasons, I can no longer ignore them.

It all started when this artist dude insisted on taking my pictures. This took place at the backstage of the recent UN event.

Me: "byk lagi tu unduk ngadau sana, ko pi la ambil gambar dorang"
Dude: "suda sa ambil gambar dorang suma. alaa, buli la bah. kijap ja ni"
Me: "bah ok la" (sporting sajala kan..hihihi)

So he practically shoved his digital camera in front of my face, mau ambil up-close la konon. 1,2,3 snaps and we are done. Then he requested something that really made me laugh.

"emm, buli sa gambar ko lagi? tapi...cuba jangan kasi kluar gigi ko"
~points at my pic in his camera~
"tidak rata bah gigi ko"

Now how would you react to that? I laughed. Because it's true and he's the first stranger to point that out. Because of that mind-blowing honesty, I agreed to another snap - this time, without the teeth. haha.

This is why I hate close-ups. I don't have THE TEETH for it.

After that, I can't help but look at my teeth and wonder what could be done with it. There is a way to fix them of course. There's a tool called Porcelain Veneers that could "radically redesign your smile". With dental veneers, we can fix any number of naturally occurring problems from discoloration, uneven or worn-out teeth, to a "gummy" smile." says the front page of Aesthetika Dental Center.

If it could be fixed, why not? It will not change who I am, the word 'improvement' is more like it. More importantly, I'm not doing it because of what others said (ok,maybe a little :P). It's more like a personal satisfaction. Besides, pouting and crooked smiles for pictures are getting old. I have too much of those.

The truth is plain & simple :I'm sick of NOT being able to take close-ups because of my teeth.
And I do love taking pictures.
I should really get a smile makeover in the near future:)
But if you think this gonna stop from smiling-with-teeth, it won't.
They are not perfect but I'm fond of them.
Besides, what are 'angles' for? :p

(n_^) v