Saturday, April 17, 2010

Want.

Hope deceives more men than cunning does.
~Vauvenargues

 
I want something I probably will not get.
Not because I don't deserve it.
Because for some reason,
When I want something so bad (this bad),
Circumstances always find a way to mess it up.
I've got no lucky stars to save me,
A lost cause.

I'm tired of being disappointed
All the mocking whys and hows
I'm tired of healing
The gaping hole always takes forever to mend.

Hope is a dirty word.
Even faith is a nasty accomplice.

Do you think,
If I try not to want it so much
Heaven or whatever will let me have it?
Because if it doesn't,
I think I die a little each time....