Monday, November 7, 2011

On the brink

The long hols will start in two weeks. The year will end in about two months. At this time last year, I was still basking in the glory of graduation. I was winning with the world spinning at my will. On this day however, or night if to be more specific,  I'm not so sure anymore. I stand to lose a few things that matter. Things that make up the soul of Jess Big Plan. Unless I do something about it. The hardest part there is. I made myself believe I wasn't a quitter. I told everyone the same thing. Right now, I am ashamed to admit that I just might.

Without trying harder.
Without praying harder.
Such conclusion would freak me out a year ago.
But now, there's that unmistakable scent of surrender and acceptance. Hovering. Mocking.

I know I have it in me.
Find it.

Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.

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