Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Not Done Yet

All but Death, can be Adjusted --
Dynasties repaired --

Systems -- settled in their Sockets --

Citadels -- dissolved --

Wastes of Lives -- resown with Colors

By Succeeding Springs --

Death -- unto itself -- Exception --

Is exempt from Change --
- Emily Dickinson

It was one of those "where were you?" moments.
Michael Jackson's passing away is a big deal. He was like Colgate, Milo and Nokia.
A part of our lives that we thought would always be there.
When news of his death rocked the world, we were left shocked.
Even me. I'm not like, a bigcrazydiehard fan but a few of his songs are my personal favorites and the moonwalk never cease to amaze me.
This is how it feels when a legend died...empty.

A day after, my mum told me that a former schoolmate of mine died in a tragic car accident. He was only 21. My sister used to have a crush on him up for 3 years (dari darjah 4 smpai darjah 6~kids). I was best friends with his big brother. After primary school, I've never seen them again. Went to different high schools and soon they became remnants of my childhood memory. So when I saw his picture on the Sunday paper, I was struck by just how unfair and sudden death can be at times.
He was too young to die, but he was taken anyway.

Being young, apparently is not an excuse. Death doesn't judge the years of one's existence, it takes you away regardless of how Life insists that you have so much ahead of you.

God, I have so much ahead of me..
I want to graduate, take my family to Bali for vacation, watch Man Utd home games at Old Trafford, get my Masters&PhD, buy my own car/house/LV bags, get a German Shepherd, travel to Europe, wear a bikini at a beach somewhere in the States, maybe California and get a nice tan, go to concerts/Broadway..etc..etc..it goes on and on.
Oh heck, I haven't even fallen in love properly yet.

Suddenly the future feels unsure, slipping dangerously from my grasp.
How could one be so sure that they will still be here tomorrow?

Angst aside, the death of this friend is a reality sucker punch that really drives the point home.. that i just feel..so thankful to be alive. So goddamn thankful....
to just to be here, being Jess(though being me is not so awesome sometimes) and breathing..
God, I am not done yet.

*Rest in Peace*
Mitchell Evan A.(1988-2009)
Michael Joseph Jackson (1958-2009)


Amanda Christine Wong said...

I guess, when things cant get any worse, all you have to think is that u're still alive to fix it or just make the best of it. btw, i want a german shepherd too..hehe

theroyalcrapster said...

"i havent fallen in love properly yet.."

geez jess! i bet you got guys lining up for you! just pick one and love him properly!!

LOL. all the best in love :)

Uncle Lee said...

Hello Jessica, interesting post you have. Enjoyed reading your this posting.
Allow me to mention....
Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to new understandings with the passing whisper of their wisdom.

Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints in our hearts, and we are never ever the same.

Live your life with no excuses, love with no regrets and smile. Never know who is falling in love with your smile.
You have a nice day, and keep a song in your heart. Best regards, Lee.